Big Age Gaps Between Your Children
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Big Age Gaps Between Your Children
I come from a big family consisting of 7 children. I am the eldest and only girl - yes, that means I have 6 younger brothers... some call it luck, others, torture (I definitely call it luck). We have some big age gaps between us, and I'm sure some people are wondering if that kind of thing is okay. My brothers are (at the moment) 0, 2, 3, 5, 14 and 15 (man, I hope I got that right!).
The age gap between my youngest brother and I is 17 years! My partner's age gap between his youngest sister and him is 21 years! Odd, huh? Not really. A lot of people are getting married, having children, divorcing, remarrying and having more children these days. My siblings (looking at it in my shoes) are made up of 1 step-brother, 4 half-brothers and of course, a full-blood brother. Don't get me wrong, I love them all equally!
I must admit, when it comes to having huge age gaps with your siblings, life can be a little strange and, well, challenging. There are so many good points but there are a few not-so-good points too (mind you, there's not very many!). I would like to share these with you. I'll start with the not-so-good points and finish with the fantastic ones!
Not-So-Good Points
1. In public - When the 5 year old (Eric) was born I was so excited, so whenever we were in public, I offered to push the pram. When he was about 3, I was 15. I was pushing him in a department store when a woman and her daughter came up to me and said, "Your son is so adorable!". Yes, it was embarrassing. That kind of thing has happened a lot to me in public since then but I guess you get use to it. I guess it's just that some people get the wrong impression.
2. Fighting - All siblings fight. It's a little different when a 15 year old is having a dispute with a 3 year old though. Obviously the eldest one of the two should know better, but you don't want to make the eldest out to be the bad guy because that will be looked upon as favouritism all because the little one is, well, little. When it comes to fighting, everyone should be treated equally.
3. Confusion - One thing I really dislike is the fact that my littlest brothers having to try and understand that we have different fathers. How can this be? How strange! Of course, they have eventually learnt to understand it. They call my father 'Jay's Daddy', which is absolutely adorable! But, the whole, 'two dads or two mums' thing can get a little confusing for the youngsters, depending on their ages.
Fantastic Points
1. You get to watch your brothers and sisters grow from birth! - This would have to be one of my favourite things in the whole world! Watching them grow and learn is an experience I wouldn't trade for the world. It gives you real insight into the way we were and sometimes even the way we still are.
2. You learn so much - My mother use to always joke that I was in training to 'be a mum'. Obviously she didn't mean I was going to have kids at some inappropriate age, but I was learning all about how to care for children. It is a good piece of experience to have. Just the little things like changing a nappy or feeding them baby food, even jogging them to sleep, are bound to work out to be quite helpful knowledge down the track. Not only do you learn the caring side of things, but believe it or not, the little ones also teach you a lot about life that you wouldn't have already known. I wouldn't be without any of my little brothers. They're all my little mates.
3. You have the opportunity to pass on the knowledge you already have yourself, to them - one night I was giving Eric a bath. He was playing with 4 plastic ships and a few other toys. The ships were red, yellow, green and blue - the other toys were orange and purple. I told him which colours were which and kept asking him which was which until finally he didn't need any help anymore. Eventually (after a few baths of course) Eric could tell me what each colour was and what each two colours made when mixed together. I also taught him how to count to 20. He learnt all this before he was 2. I like to think he had a good teacher. Teaching little ones to count, recognise shapes and colours and how to write their own name is so much fun and once they get the hang of it, it's a fantastic feeling to know that you helped them get there.
Even though I have stated 3 good points and 3 'bad' points, the good definitely out-weighs the bad! So, if you're thinking of having kids with your new partner, even though you already have kids to your ex, go for it. At first, your older kids will be totally against it, but in the end, they'll be glad you did.
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I have got 6 brothers and sisters and i was the 4th one stuck in the middle of the group
Robert-30 Cate-20 Liam-15 im 9 Joanne-4 Jamie-0
We were not very close while growing up. I didn't even get to see Robert when i was 0 I just wush we were closer in age.
I have 7 children
Amy-25 Fred-16 Liam-7 Garry-0
Sally-18 Zak-9 Sarah-2
Hi there
I was so happy to find this on here. I'm a mom to an almost 15 year old and a 12 year old. I had them both younger. I'm 33 now and thinking about baby number 3. Your post here reassured me that it's possible to have a good relationship for them even with the age difference. Thanks so much!
The large age gap between siblings in our blended family has become more difficult and problematic over the past 5 years. Its impossible to find a family activity appropriate for my 2 year old and also my 10 and 13 year old stepchildren. Also, they are now old enough to have sports, school events, etc. every weekend and I can't bring my 2 year old to most events. He just runs all over because he's 2. People, even strangers, always comment about how great it is that I have built-in babysitters. NOT! Neither of them want anything to do with watching their younger sibling, even for just 10 minutes. Lastly, before we were married, I assumed I would only have a moderate amount of input in raising my stepchildren since I'm not their biological parent. The shocking eye-opener is that I have NO say in parenting them. My husband will not even let me ask them to make their beds or pick their clothes up from the floor. He says they are only children and shouldn't have a lot of responsibility. He says I'm doing something against them if I ask. Needless to say, my husband doesn't pick up after them. I sure wish I knew all this before I was married. Having stepchildren is a tough pill to swallow.
I am 15 and my younger sister is 6. This past school year my newly divorced mom had a freshman in high school and a kindergartener. I know it is a hassle raising two completely different age groups. She’s having to help one learn her numbers and alphabet, while she’s trying to keep tabs on who her other daughter is dating and friends with. It’s all pretty crazy in our household, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I can take my sister places and I’ll soon be able to drive her around if she needs to. I can also go on grocery runs for my mom. It seems to make things a lot less crazy if there is an older kid to help out a single mom. I write for a blog (RadicalParenting.com) where teen’s give advice to parents and write about issues from the teen’s perspective. We have an article called Toddlers and Teens, Family Age Gaps that might help anyone who has a larger age gap, feel free to check it out: http://www.radicalparenting.com/2009/05/28/toddler
Thanks!
Morgan
I'm the youngest of 3 kids. I have two older brothers who are 15 and 17 years older than me and I never really minded it as I had many cousins and friends my age whom I grew up with, therefore not being really lonely. My mom had them really young, early 20's, and had me when she was in her early 40's (41)(same dad too lol). However, I have to admit my brothers and I are extremely close despite our age gap..and yes we do love to torture each other. I also have a sister-in-law whom I consider as one of my best friends and I can't have life any other way. I sometimes feel I could be my mom's granddaughter, but honestly , both my parents now in their late 50's still look young enough to be a parent to a 16 year old as they take care of themselves well. Age gap has no importance to anything, only the love and bond you have between you and your family..
my oldest brother is 22 years older than i am.there are 10 of us my oldest sister is 15 years older than i am.i have a fourth brother who is 9 years older than i am.my oldest sister have a son who is 9 years younger than i am .help please
My son is 20 years old in April and I have just given birth to his little brother (late Jan!). Wish me luck! :)
I'm so happy I found this page.
I'm 20 years old about my parents have been talking about having another baby for a while now. I'm absolutely thrilled about it, having grown up as an only child, but I'm still nervous. I want us to be close, but I don't want to be his mom, even if I will be taking care of him a lot.
Since writing this hub, my mother was kind enough to give me another little brother... and she's due again in July! So, at the moment I have 7 little brothers and another sibling on the way! 9 kids - yippee!
I don't have kids, but I have a brother who is 23 years older than I am (he had already been married two years and had a one-year-old when I came along!), and he's always been more like an uncle to me. However, I ALSO am an identical twin, so I have the added benefit of having someone my own age around. Jayenna and I get along great, as we do with our nephew, who is going to the same college we are. My brother is now 43 and has his 21-year-old son, an 18-year-old son, and a seven-year-old daughter, so he's following in the same footsteps of our parents.
I now have a little sister! She turns 1 on July 21st this year. =) We are 21 years apart. So now I have 7 little brothers and 1 little sister =)
funride 4 years ago
Great hub! I also have a 17 years gap between me and my older brother but we are only 3 (my sister is 10 years older than me). As you can imagine I could be grandson of my parents lol. After 34 years I also concider that "good definitely out-weighs the bad!".
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